Getting the Gear — Part I
Steroid Acquisition 101
by Chris Shugart

The Choice

The Great Decision must be made by all of us sooner or later. If you haven't made it yet, you inevitably will. If you're a person who trains with weights to look better, then one day in your life you're going to realize that you've hit your genetic ceiling. Maybe you've naturally added 20 or 30 pounds of muscle through proper diet and supplementation. For every ounce of muscle gained and fat lost, you've spent hours under the iron. To say you've worked hard for your gains is an understatement. You've spent money on gym memberships, training equipment, and supplements. You've made sacrifices. Hell, you've bled to achieve your physical goals and set yourself apart from the average and the sadly content.

But the gains have stopped. You've changed your diet and training. First you bumped up the intensity and added a day or two of lifting; then maybe you went the other direction and took a few extra days off. Nothing. Soon you come to the humbling realization that you are busting your ass to maintain.

The next level may involve adding more muscle or maybe improving performance. Whichever, you know what reaching the next level entails: performance-enhancing drugs. 'Roids. Juice. Gear. Whatever moniker you choose to apply, the use of these substances is a powerful and very personal decision. If you decide to remain natural, that's cool. Testosterone has plenty of info to help you out. However, if decide to take the other path or think you may one day walk that twisty road, then this article is for you.

Many of us here at Testosterone believe that steroids and other ergogenic substances can be used in a relatively safe and sane manner. We even foresee the day when these compounds lose their seedy status and become staples of the pharmaceutical industry as men use them to battle aging and even disease. But all pomp and passionate diatribe aside, right now steroids are illegal in the United States. Let's make no bones about it, if you choose to use, you're also choosing to break the law.

What you're about to learn is how to obtain these substances while minimizing the legal risks. Don't expect names and phone numbers. You're going to learn the most common methods of getting the gear. Just like the decision to use, the rest is up to you. Also, before the current steroid users accuse me of giving away all the good secrets, don't worry. The methods presented here are fairly common and represent a "Steroid Acquisition 101" approach. That doesn't mean the methods aren't effective. Many professional bodybuilders and athletes are reported to get their juice using these same methods.

Enough talk. Look over your shoulder for da man and remember, be cool. It's time to find some gear.

The Hard Stuff — Magazines, Newsletters, and Lists

If you're a bit leery about buying your sauce from the big zit covered dude at the gym, then the only other alternative is getting it yourself. So where do you start? Let's examine some of the most common places to look.

Magazines: Bodybuilding magazines were once known for allowing steroid dealers and foreign suppliers to advertise in their classified sections. These days, most mags have disallowed such practices, mainly because newsstands and supermarkets were refusing to carry them on their shelves. The ads dried up for a period of time, but now they're starting to resurface albeit more discretely. The first thing you need to do is look for a bodybuilding magazine with an "anything goes" attitude toward advertising. You're more likely to find leads to obtaining steroids or prescription-only pharmaceuticals in the same mags that advertise amazon wrestling videos, penis pumps, phones-sex ads, and gay workout and posing videos. Somewhere amidst the above garbage you'll find small, sometimes vague ads in the supplement section with one of the following alert phrases:

Bodybuilding Pharmaceuticals
European or Mexican Ergogenics
Pharmaceutical or Top Grade Supplements
Hardcore Products
Free Report On Steroids

Yes, these could be scammers (those who just take your money and run) or just some yahoos selling boron, but that's to be expected. Usually, the info is free or you are asked to send in a few dollars. There are some risks. For example, there have been some suppliers who send a sample along with your information. This could even be a real tab of AD-50 or even an amp containing real juice. The danger here is that the package will be stopped at customs. We'll discuss how to deal with that problem shortly. However, for the most part, this probably won't happen. Instead you'll likely receive price lists or offers to purchase lists of sources. Many of the legitimate sources will have foreign addresses.

By the way, one popular scam is to offer "Real Human Growth Hormone." Most of the time, you'll get an advertisement for a legal supplement that's supposed to boost your own natural levels. Needless to say, these are usually bogus products like colostrum. One company I investigated simply sold amino acids and glutamine with ad copy that read "Steroid-like Gains!" and "Real HGH!"

Bodybuilding magazines aren't the only publications that may contain leads however. Many times longevity, life extension and "smart drug" magazines also contain foreign suppliers. Even one popular marijuana magazine sometimes offers links to legitimate sources.

Newsletters: Bodybuilding, life extension, and smart drug newsletters often contain contacts. You have to jump through a few hoops, but you can usually find what you're looking for with patience. The focus of many smart drug and longevity publications isn't on steroids, but once you receive info from a foreign pharmaceutical company you'll notice bodybuilding drugs right along side the nootropics and Viagra.

List Providers: The premise here is that these providers have compiled a list of contacts for you so you don't have to do all the leg work. These sources can range from foreign pharmacies to hardcore dealers and, of course, some are completely bogus. Expect to pay around $25 for a list of 10 to 15 contacts. Note that list providers who claim to provide you with "hundreds of connections" usually fill their lists with sources that do not ship to individuals or other countries. List providers often advertise in bodybuilding publications and on the internet.

Steroids in Cyberspace

Jump on your favorite search engine, type in a few key words, and after a bit of surfing you'll have a dozen sites providing list of steroids and prescription fat burners along with cost and shipping procedures. I'm not going to list specific sources here for a variety of legal reasons. Also, many of these sites come and go randomly. By the time you read this article the foreign supplier may be out of business or may have changed the address. Since I have not purchased from any of these sources, I'm also reluctant to recommend them as they could be scams. Let's just say that after an hour, I had made contact with a variety of Spanish, Mexican, Portuguese, Philippine and Australian suppliers.

Some were pharmacies, some were veterinary supply houses, and others appeared to be individuals. One even claimed to be a Swiss clinic specializing in growth hormone, but the address was in the Bahamas. You can even find the actual manufactures if you look long enough. Some even advertise directly to bodybuilders. Also, after typing "steroids" into the Yahoo search engine, I soon came across a very good list supplier. The majority of the site could only be accessed if you were a member, however. Memberships ran $30 a month or $100 a year.

I also found a legal source for Testosterone that allows you to do a consultation online. This link was found through a search on longevity rather than bodybuilding. (Note that these "legal" sources may end up costing you more since you have to pay consultation fees and perhaps even laboratory fees. The "Swiss clinic" offered growth hormone at $10,000 US for 500 IU's. Some of my contacts reported getting the same amount for half that price while others paid as much as $15,000. Testosterone at the Swiss clinic went for $995 for 10,000 mg.)

Message boards are also a rich source of contact info, although they are where scammers tend to lurk. Most dealers who use message boards will simply list a few products they have available and ask you to send them your e-mail address. An interested person can usually respond with "list" or "send list" and will receive a complete list in a short amount of time. Don't except to get shipping details and mailing addresses right away, however. You may also consider setting up an anonymous e-mail account under a false name before you deal with message board sources. Message boards can be found at many popular bodybuilding sites.

Newsgroups can also be a place to make contacts, but many sources are reluctant to post here. If you decide to check out newsgroups or message boards, remember to look into life extension and smart drug sites as well. You may even make some contacts though "transgendered" pages. (After all, if you want to change your sex, you're going to need some hormones.) Everybody together now- eeeeeewwwwww!

 
Importation Procedures

Once you've found a good source, you have to figure out the best way to get the stuff. A common practice among pro's is to travel to a foreign country, buy your gear, and post it back to yourself, an empty apartment, or a PO box. If that's too much trouble for you, then you'll have to rely on your oversees or over-the-border supplier. You should know that there's no guarantee Customs won't check and detain your package. There are, however, methods that may decrease the likelihood of that occurring. Note that you may want to send specific shipping instructions to your supplier. Here are some general guidelines for getting the gear through the mail system:

• Don't invite trouble. Make sure the shipping addresses is clear and easy to read and make sure all proper "Air Mail" labeling is in place. Most shippers do not place their real addresses on the package nor do they include info inside that may incriminate them. This doesn't protect the buyer from anything, of course; it's simply a method used by suppliers to cover their own collective asses.

• Some shippers write something on the outside of the package to throw off the suspicions of customs agents. For example, they may make some false indication of the content. You may also want to avoid writing, "Handle with care. Contains glass ampoules brimming with gear" or "Here are the drugs you ordered, big boy." Bad idea, Einstein.

• Contraband can be concealed in almost any item, but generally speaking smaller, lighter packages that weigh under 16 ounces have the best luck in not being inspected. Large, noisy packages that are poorly labeled may get immediate attention.

• Always request that your gear be sent by non-registered delivery.

• Private carriers such as FedEx and UPS have a high chance of being inspected. Use regular or global mail. Never use express, registered or certified mail as these methods allow your personal information to be entered into the electronic system of the US Postal Service where it is kept on file indefinitely. Such info would make it easy for law enforcement officials to trace you and your mailing history later.

• You may want to order smaller quantities. This will act as a test for your supplier and in case some of your stuff gets nabbed or lost, you'll still get the rest.

• There's not much you can do about this, but packages from some countries, like Mexico and Thailand are more likely to arouse suspicion.

• Pay with cash. Checks, money orders, and credit cards can all be traced by da man.

• When mailing cash use a security envelope and wrap the money in dark paper.

• Most importantly, if your stuff gets seized by customs you will receive a letter informing you of the seizure. Do NOT go try to pick up your package. Signing for a package of banned substances acts as an admission of guilt. Write it off as lost. This is simply part of the game and will happen occasionally no matter how careful you try to be. You may also consider never using that particular address again.

• Some buyers order using someone else's name or a fake name. Note that this could later bring charges of fraud, however, not many buyers worry about that matter.

• If you feel the heat so to speak, disclaim the package or bring it home and write "not at this address" on it. Sit on the package for a few days before you open it. If you are investigated or the package is found, you can always say you were about to return it to the sender since you did not order it. (Note this may not get you completely out of trouble, but it may throw a monkey wrench into the plans of law enforcement.)

• Always type or have someone outside of your family write out info involved in the ordering process.

As Brock Strasser has pointed out so elegantly, the best thing you can do to minimize legal risks is to keep your trap shut! Resist the urge to brag or talk shit about your personal use or your source.

There is much more info out there about obtaining steroids or any drug with or without a prescription. I've only touched on the basics in this article and would strongly encourage you to learn more before you ever attempt to place an order. At the end of Part II, I'll list a few sources of additional information.

Tune in next week and you'll learn how to make your next Mexican vacation really worth while.

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