The body you want will be built with iron and food and sweat.

To help you do that — and to make a buck or two — product manufacturers have flooded the market with training gear, nutrition-related tools, and every type of gadget imaginable, all of it promising to make you perform like an athlete and look like a cover model on a muscle magazine. 

Most of it, of course, is garbage.

No worries, Testosterone Muscle is here to sort the useful tools from the useless crap. Welcome to our newest product-review column. Let's dig in.

Gymboss Interval Timer

What is it?

An interval timer and stopwatch designed just for gym junkies.

What's the claim?

Makes any workout easier to plan and execute, with more accuracy and consistency.

Does it work?

Yep, it sure does. You'll need to sit down and play with it for 10 minutes or so before you get the hang of it, but after that it's pretty simple to use. It's about the size of a small pager and runs on a AAA battery, which is provided.

The Gymboss acts as a countdown timer and a stopwatch, but the highlight is the repeating interval-timer feature. For example, let's say you're training front squats Tabata-style. Just set the Gymboss to a work interval of 20 seconds, followed by a rest interval of 10 seconds. The alarm will tell you when it's time to rest and go again, and it'll repeat itself until your workout is finished ... or you keel over dead. (Tabatas are fun like that.)

Another interesting feature is the vibrate mode, which can replace the alarm's beep, or be used along with it. This should be handy for trainers who want to keep their clients or athletes on track without having to hear the beep go off dozens of times each workout.

I also like how you can choose the duration of the alarm or vibration — one second, five seconds, or 10 seconds. I much prefer the short one-second alarm. Ten seconds of beeping makes me want to throw it across the gym. (Another tragic example of creatine rage.)

The Gymboss comes with a belt clip to attach to your training journal or shorts. I clipped it to my shorts at the gym and bounced around like an idiot trying to dislodge it. It stayed tight and never fell off. The effort, however, produced an unexpected side effect: people started asking me how I like doing CrossFit. Weird!

The Verdict

Works as it claims to work, very handy, and it has replaced my Timex Ironman for workouts. My only suggestion to the Gymboss folks is the addition of a magnet to go along with the waistband clip. That way you could slap it onto a power rack or bench press if you didn't want to clip it to your snazzy, neon-green Zubaz.

Where do I get one?

You can pick one up at the website for $20. Tell them Testosterone sent you, and your timer will be hand-delivered by a 22-year-old hottie dressed like a 17-year-old schoolgirl with the sexual attitude of a 33-year-old single mom with emotional issues.

Okay, not really, but wouldn't that be cool?

The VG-2

What is it?

The Super Deluxe Penis Enhancer 5000 is ... wait, wrong column. Soembarrassing.

The VG-2 is a gripper with adjustable levels of resistance.

What's the claim?

Works the muscles of your hands and forearms to build crushing strength and improve your grip for sports performance.

Does it work?

The VG-2 is based on the classic design of the Ivanko Super Gripper. In fact, it pretty much is a Super Gripper, but hey, the patent on that thing ran out in the '80s, so now anybody can make one.

Unlike the standard Captains of Crush-style grippers, the VG-2 uses two moveable springs, giving you more than 60 increments of adjustable resistance on one device. In other words, you can go from 45 pounds of resistance up to about 360 pounds simply by moving the springs around, eliminating the need to buy multiple grippers. And, since few of us can close a 360-pound gripper, even if we use both hands, there's little risk that you'll outgrow this one.

The adjustability is a great feature, but it does make the VG-2 a lot bigger than a standard gripper. Here's a comparison shot:

I found the VG-2 to work very well. The springs are easy to adjust, and the construction is similar to the old Ivanko models I've played with in the past.

One note: The range of motion is shorter than a standard gripper's. So, for example, closing 200 pounds on the VG-2 will probably be easier than closing 195 pounds on the Captains of Crush #2 gripper.

The Verdict: A darn good tool for building hand strength. The adjustability really makes it shine.

The VG-2, good for developing the Vulcan Death Grip.

Where can I get one?

You can pick up several different variations at IronWoody.com. The Vise Gripper, which has knurled aluminum handles, costs $35. The one I tested, the VG-2, has handles cast into the grip, and costs $30. An even cheaper model, the Woody Gripper (insert your own joke here), doesn't have handles at all (the company notes that it's "a little less comfortable in the hand"), is $25.

Green Bags

What are they?

Plastic bags used to store fruit and vegetables.

What's the claim?

Green Bags claim to extend the life of produce for as long as 10 days by slowing the ripening and rotting process.

How do they do that?

The company says the bags are made with "oya," a mineral found in caves in Japan where, allegedly, the locals stored perishable food for remarkable lengths of time without spoilage. In theory, the oya-rich clay in those caves absorbs the ethylene gas that fruits and vegetables naturally give off as they age, thus slowing their maturation. 

Do they work?

You've probably seen the TV commercials, which are convincing enough to pique my interest. Independent groups have tested the bags, with mixed results. That's why I decided to test them myself. I took two bananas from the same bunch, placed one of them in a Green Bag, and set both on my kitchen counter for six days. Here's the "before" pic:

After 6 days:

The banana on the right, the one not stored in the Green Bag, is obviously farther along in the decay process.

I've stored a variety of fruits and veggies in the bags since the banana test, and I think it's clear they extend the life of these foods by several days.

The Verdict

Hey, something advertised on late-night TV actually works!

Where do I get them?

You can pick up Green Bags at Wal-Mart or order them here. For about $10 you get 20 bags — half medium and half large. Each can be reused about 10 times.

SteelStretch Shirts

What are they?

Compression shirts made of breathable, moisture-wicking material.

These types of shirts have been popular for years among athletes and people who want to show off every nook and cranny of their torsos. Under Armour popularized them (in marketing lingo, they're the "category killer"), Nike makes some good ones, and now other companies are jumping on the bandwagon.

What's the claim?

SteelStetch claims its shirts do everything other compression shirts do — keep you cool on hot days and warm on cold ones, minimize body odors, and make you look all sexy and shit — but at a lower price.

Do they work?

SteelStetch shirts are less expensive. The long-sleeve and sleeveless models are typically $9 or $10 less than Under Armour or Nike. T-shirt styles are about $5 less. 

I tried out all three types for this review. The first difference I noticed is the cut. Because the shirts are longer in the sleeves and torso, they don't ride up, a problem I've had with Nike's products. So I don't look like I'm wearing my little brother's shirt after a set of power cleans or pull-ups.

And, although this is admittedly subjective, I liked the fit better than Under Armour's. The shirt felt stretchier, without sacrificing any compression. After wearing it for a few workouts and some outdoor activities, I think the SteelStretch performed every bit as well as the more expensive shirts.

The only minor complaint I have is with the white shirts, which are almost see-through —- a problem I also had with Under Armour and Nike compression shirts. Unless you're wearing it under something else, or have such magnificent nipples that you want to share them with the world, I suggest sticking with the darker colors.

The Verdict

A less-expensive, better-fitting compression shirt. Recommended!*

Where do I get one?

You can get one here. Long-sleeve shirts run $25, T-shirts $20, sleeveless $16.

Note: If you weigh 110 pounds or look like this ...

... compression shirts aren't the best choice for outerware.

Poach Pods

What are they?

Flexible silicone cups for poaching eggs.

What's the claim?

Perfectly poached eggs.

Do they work?

"Egg whites are for dorks! A guy training naturally needs whole eggs!" proclaimed strength coach Charles Poliquin. He added, "And they must be poached! If they're not poached, you may as well just go on Project Runway and sew dresses on TV!"

Okay, I made up half of that quote. Perhaps more. But still, eggs are a staple muscle-building food, and if you've been in the iron game for a while you've probably scrambled, fried, and hard-boiled enough of them to feed a Third World country. Poaching them gives you a little variety, without the need for butter, oil, or cooking spray, and without giving a messy pan to clean up afterwards.

But chances are you've never poached an egg before, and for good reason: It's both tricky and tedious. You have to boil water in a pan, get the water swirling, and then drop the egg into the swirling, boiling water. Three to five minutes later, you fish it out with a slotted spoon — if, that is, you've done it right, and there's a perfectly poached egg to fish out. If not, you end up with a pan full of stringy egg soup, wasting some perfectly good, protein-rich egg white.

With Poach Pods, you don't waste anything. You boil water in a pan, crack an egg into the pod, float it, and bring the water down to a simmer. In a few minutes you'll have a poached egg that slips right out of the cup. None of the egg is wasted, and the cup is dishwasher-safe, making cleanup a lot easier.

The Verdict

Poach Pods work as advertised. But I have reservations:

1. At $10 for two pods, they aren't cheap. And what self-respecting musclehead makes just two eggs at a time? You'll need a bunch of pods to get your breakfast on.

2. The directions say that eggs will poach in four to six minutes, but at six minutes my eggs were still pretty raw. So it was more like seven or eight minutes for me, and it might take even longer, depending on how firm you like your eggs.

Where can I get them?

Poach Pods can be found with other clever culinary tools at fusionbrands, I picked mine up at Bed Bath & Beyond, where I saw Coach Poliquin shopping for cornflower-blue napkin rings. "To match my sexy eyes," he explained.

That's a true story I just made up.

The Healthiest Meals on Earth, by Jonny Bowden, Ph.D.

What is it?

A book, dummy. A recipe book, to be precise.

What's the claim?

Mouth-watering recipes that'll help you live a longer, better life.

Is it any good?

My favorite food and nutrition book of 2008 was The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth (which actually came out in 2007). In fact, I was so impressed by the author's no-bullshit approach to healthy eating that I suggested we offer him his own column on Testosterone Muscle.

Lucky for us, everyone agreed, and Question of Nutrition was born. The Healthiest Meals on Earth, which came out in 2008, is the companion book to Healthiest Foods.

To understand why I like Bowden's books so much, I should note how frustrated I've been with so-called "healthy" cookbooks and "light" cooking magazines. Most of them are neither healthy nor light. They might use low-fat instead of whole milk in a recipe, but they don't do a damned thing about the other crap ingredients, like white flour and sugar.

Bowden, on the other hand, is one of us. He knows there's more to good nutrition than cutting a couple grams of fat here or there.

The Healthiest Meals on Earth is broken down into three main sections: four-course meals, one-pot meals, and liquid meals. Each section not only tells you how to make the recipe, but explains why it's good for you. For example, the recipe for black-bean cakes is accompanied by information about fiber, the glycemic index, and the cell-protective benefits of beans. And it include this nugget: According to the American Institute of Cancer Research, men who eat the most beans have a 38 percent lower risk of prostate cancer than men who eat the least.

I also like the book's resource section, which includes advice on how to select the best cooking oils, and where to find some of the book's more exotic ingredients.

Now, as can imagine, all that information about what you're eating takes up a lot of space, which is why there are just 60 recipes in a 360-page book.

And there's also a strange omission: Bowden doesn't give you macronutrient breakdowns or tell you how many calories you're getting per serving. On the one hand, I can see why he chose to emphasize healthy eating instead of obsessing over calories and fat grams. On the other, well, we all like to know how much we're eating, and we especially like to know how much protein we're getting.

The Verdict

Another great reference book from Bowden!

Where can I buy it?

You can buy it from Amazon for $16.47, vs. $25 in a bookstore.

Wrap-Up

Know of any training- or nutrition-related products you'd like us to test out? Click on "Discuss" and let us know!